Friday, July 3, 2009

I am Going Blind

I heard that if you are going deaf, you should seek a hearing aid immediately. If you delay, your brain begins to forget how to form sounds and words. I think that is the saddest thing. When I apply this to my own condition, I realize my sight has been diminishing for quite some time now. I don't have glasses, and am collecting crease lines on my forehead from squinting so frequently. Why don't I get some glasses?

I went and drew a model last night, and couldn't see her details. Her face was so difficult to see, and I did a lot of hard squinting. I wonder if I have slowly been loosing my ability to see things. Really See Things. I have lost my lust for the things I was so obsessed over, years ago. Death, anxiety, people, drawing, emotions... It has all mellowed out. I am not obsessed with anything at the moment, and it feels so wrong. I am missing a very important something. I would rather be horribly scared, and full of anxiety, than be bored and calm. There is nothing interesting about calm. 

I can't see anything, and I believe I have been ignoring life for quite sometime now. I will get glasses next week and see if it dramatically changes the course of my life. 

1 comment:

  1. Glasses are a good thing. Although I doubt your going blind, your eyes as an artist are super important.... I want you to be obsessed over things!! Not to the point of being scared of life, but definitely to the point of passion. I bet glasses will help.....

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